Soul-Fed Mama: You Are Not Alone
When Bean was about 3 weeks old, I suddenly found myself desperate to meet woman who had babies the same age. I felt isolated and lost. I thought I had prepared myself mentally for life with a new baby, but I was absolutely not prepared for all of the emotions I was feeling. I was scared, grieving and exhausted. I was also exhilarated and more in love than I had ever felt before. I felt like I was on a roller coaster and I needed to know if other new moms felt this way and how to deal with it.I found a new mom’s group that week filled with women who were talking about the same concerns, worries and confusion. The leader would invite us to check in, one by one, around our large circle about what was happening in our lives and with our babies. We laughed and cried and confessed our struggles. We commiserated, learned from each other, and supported each other.Out of that group and a couple baby-and-mommy classes I found a couple months later, I formed friendships that I have depended on these last two years. When I don’t know what to do when my child is congested (but not dangerously so) I ask my mom friends for advice. When I was feeling conflicted about how and when to introduce solid food to my daughter, I asked around for opinions and experiences. We discuss how we feel about vaccinations, what we like in various stroller models, how to find time and energy for intimacy with our partners, our children’s sleeping and pooping habits, and share tips for getting through sleep regressions, potty training and second pregnancies.We talk about feeling like we are failing, and what we miss about our pre-baby lives. We share our worries about raising the kind of kids we want to live with, and when we feel like we are messing up. We celebrate together for birthdays, commiserate over the struggle to balance all the parts of our lives and grieve together when one of us has a miscarriage, loses a parent or is struggling in their relationship.What I have learned through these friendships is that I am never alone. Anything I’m dealing with is something some other mom is also dealing with. Anything that feels like too much, some other mom as already made it through. And also, everything I have figured out how to deal with, some other mom may still be struggling with and my story may help her find her way.[Tweet "Us mamas, we need each other."]They say it takes a village to raise a child. I think it takes a village to be a healthy and happy mama, too.Where have you found your village?