When self-care feels bad, with Christy Tending
Nurturing Habit Podcast, episode 19: When self-care feels bad, with Christy Tending
I remember once having a conversation with some friends, when I had been sick, winter was feeling long and I was low. "Here's what you should do," one of them said. "Get your daughter, a blanket and make some hot tea. Curl up on the couch to watch a movie. That will be so relaxing!"In theory it was a great idea. But I knew immediately that it would not be relaxing or nurturing for me. It would have taken 30 frustrating minutes for us to agree on a movie we both wanted to watch. My daughter would have been climbing on me, the back of the couch, and the furniture. Or she'd be doing gymnastics between me and the screen. She would be kicking the blanket off of us when she got hot and stealing it when she got cold. She would be talking through the dialog and then asking me what was happening, because she wasn't listening. I would be fending off a cat or three, and my tea would probably get spilled. I would probably end up yelling at somebody.It would have been the opposite of relaxing, and for sure was not the self-care that I needed that particular evening.But this is what happens when we don't have a personalized self-care practice. We do prescribed self-care - what our friends recommend or what we find on Pinterest or in a listicle magazine article - and then it doesn't feel good. And then we wonder if there is something wrong with us, because self-care is supposed to feel good, but what we are doing is not making us feel good.My guest on the show this week is Christy Tending. Christy is a self-care mentor, activist, writer, and mama who helps rebellious humans become fierce self-advocates and cultivate spirited (and spiritual) lives. She's been a social justice activist for nearly 20 years, and continues to engage with climate justice and Indigenous rights activism. She's also a mom of a one-year-old.In this episode, we talk about how to cultivate a self-care practice that fits your life. And then how to adjust it, when the season of your life changes (for example, after having a baby). Christy has a brilliant formula to help you determine exactly which activities are idea for you, and will feel most nurturing and rejuvenating.Listen to Episode 19 now in the play bar below (reload your browser if you don't see it). Or find the episode in iTunes or your favorite mobile podcast player.And while you are there, will you please leave a rating or a review? That feedback helps more people find the show, and helps me land a greater variety of guests for you to listen to. And I love hearing what you have to say!Links for this episode:
Blog Post: Myth of Bubble Baths
Blog Post: Self care without the stuff
Where you can find Christy: